Twilight In A Nutshell
by TwilightsMyWorld101
Summary: For all you Twilight lovers out there come and read this hilarious version of Twilight more than one chapter
1. Chapter 1

Bella: **OMG that guy is soo mysterious**

Edward: **must not kill clumsy girl**........ **STAY AWAY FROM ME!!**

Bella: **Why doesnt he like me??? * crys ***

Edward: ** Whaaaa what is this new emotional feeling ….. oh no I am turning into a STALKER * follows Bella's every move ***

Bella: ** YAY Edward likes me now * does the happy dance ***

Edward: **Follow me I have something to show you**

Bella: **Ok …................. I know what he is he is sooo cool**

Edward:** Bella I am a …. *** **Is interrupted by Bella ***

Bella:** I know what you are**

Edward:** say it say it out LOUD**

Bella:** your the muffin man!!**

Edward:** I wish he is soo cool .. I mean no **

Bella:** what are you then a vampire * says in a sarcastic tone ***

Edward:**Well yer pretty much**

Bella:** well it wasnt what I was expecting but ok..........BITE ME EDWARD!!**

Edward:** No that is unacceptable.....BUT I DO SPARKLE!!**

Bella;** Ohhhh I love sparkels show me NOW * jumps up and down**

Edward:** * shows sparkles * lets go to meet my family**

Bella;** ok**

_a few hours later_

Edward:** Hi fake family I have turned into a stalker and this is my stalkee**

Bella: ** Hi Edwards family......... I LOVE SPARKLES**

Rosalie: ** I hate you your so pretty**

Alice:** I am going to ruin your life with my excessive shopping habits**

Jasper:**MUST NOT KILL....MUST NOT KILL...MUST NOT KILL**

Emmett:** Hi I think I am strong but I am not **

Carlisle:** Ohh another test experiment BRILLIANT**

Esme:** Go away stop leaving footprints on my perfectly clean floor**

Bella:** * leaves ***

_**Make sure you review or i will not make another chapter so read for more twilight in a nutshell **_

_**mwahahahahahahahahahahaha**_


	2. Wooooooooop Go Mel

Twilight in a nutshell

**Lol this is for mel my fafiction buddie : D OMG did anyone see glee where that guy goes all I do is write desperate houswives fanfictions??? That was awesome! **

A few hours later

**Edward:** Lets go play baseball so I can almost get you killed and blame it on myself

**Bella:** ok that sounds like popsicle sticks eating onions!!

**Edward:** * sound of cricket chirping*

_AT the baseball clearing xD_

**Alice:** Yo wasup bellarina ready to play some baseball?? do you like corn relish???

**Bella:** Baseball I thought we were playing duck duck goose * cries*

**Edward:** Ummm no bella we were playing baseball

**Bella;** not

**Edward:** were

**Bella:**Not

**edward:** WERE!!

**Emmett: ** Stop fighting and get this games over with.....mmmmm u smell nice bella

**Bella:** Oh why thankyou I am wearing some of edwards perfume :D

**Edward: WHAT YOU USED SOME OF MY PERFUME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY PERFUME AND MOST OF ALL YOU USED MY HILARY DUFF PERFUME!!!???? HOW COULD YOU BELLA THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE!! WHY WHY WHHYYYYYYY WHY DOES THIS CRUEL WORLD HAVE TO TORTURE ME :c tHATS IT BELLA ITS OVER!!!**

**Bella;** Oh well I was having an afair with rosalie anyway

I lol I kno its bad but I had serious writers block hope you like it mel


	3. New Moon Part 1

NEW MOON

LOL mel AWESOMELEY BIG WRITING ISN'T THID WRITING THE AWESOMEST BIG WRITING YOU HAVE EVER SEEN?????WATCH IT GET SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER AND SMALLER ANY WAY ON WITH THE STORY SORRY PEOPLE NOW SCROLL DOWN AND READ THE STORY xD

Bella:**GAH I just had the most coolest dream in :D I was old and wrinkly just like my dream come true :D ohhhh I want a chocolate milkshake!!!**

at school *

Alice:** Hi bellarina how was your chocolate milkshake ???**

Bella:** Wait how did you know I had a chocolate milkshake wahhhhhhhhhhh Eddwardo i'm scared **

Eddwardo:** noop Bellwardo sorry but since you have used my perfume I am not speaking to you anymore!!**

Bellwardo:** But you were just speaking to me then**

Edward:**Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr**

Bella:** Ahhhh run away alwaro**

Alwardo:** Ahhhhhh edwardo has turned into a bear ahhhhhhhh**

they run to alaska*

Bella:** Hey alice wanna play hide and seek**

Alice:** Sure Belly Bean**

Bella;** Awesome you are the best pig ever**

Alice:** Pig??????**

Bella: **It's a twilight thing you wouldnt understand**

Alice:** OhhhhhHh**

Bella; ** Lets play!!!!!**

Alice:** Okey dokey macaroni**

**Alice hides***

Bella:** Alice where are you**

Alice:** - snickers-**

Bella: **Fine if you wont awnser me I will go cliff dive**

**cliff dives-**

Alice: ** Bellarina where are you**

Jacob:** Rawwwwwrr**

**OHHHHHHH CLIFFYYYYYY **


End file.
